Viagra Falls: horny tourist destination or wishful thinking?

                  
                  Why an antidote for erectile dysfunction has infiltrated the internet so unabashedly defies
                  explanation. It reeks like a scheme of immense grandeur posing as a marvel of modern science. 
                  Thus this Viagran Roast serves as an official retort to the deluge of "politically erect" Spam
                  that gazillions of people have wasted their time deleting over the past few years. Truly, the 
                  ruthless advertising over-kill Viagra has already sustained during the opening years of the 
                  21st Century is putrid. Imagine what else could have been done with those advertising dollars...

                  On the level, prescribing the drug to a fully developed man who is genuinely unable to get his 
                  wiggly Cyclops to stand at attention makes some kind of sense. And if you're a senior citizen 
                  who wants to put a little pep in your pappy in order to give your silver-haired doll a good cardio 
                  workout, why not? As for male porn actors, strippers, full service escorts, and the like -- guys who 
                  rely on long hours of erectile function in order to make a living -- it's somewhere between a bare 
                  necessity and heady cheating through chemistry. As an alternative to staking a flaccid penis to a 
                  Popsicle stick with some dental floss, Viagra has some merit. After all, splinters and sexual 
                  encounters are hardly synonymous with one another.

                  Beyond legitimate clinical or career reasons though, if you need to pop a pill in order to secure a 
                  stiffy, have a look at your sexual partner and ask yourself why you're hooking up at all. If nothing 
                  seems awry on the surface and it's still flopping around like a second-rate dildo, consider alcohol, 
                  anxiousness, and absent-mindedness as the three foremost contributing A's. On the other hand job, 
                  it could be a psychological glitch getting in the way, which if revealed and released should do the 
                  trick and awaken the sleepy dick. This will take a varying degree of conversation and bonding in 
                  order to take full effect. Presuming there was once enough sexual attraction there naturally, remind 
                  yourself or discover what aspects of your partner aroused you in the first place. Perhaps you'll come 
                  across some new kindling in the process. 

                  Now if passion and desire are present and your pecker remains putty-like, perhaps it needs a night off. 
                  Whether we like it or not, our shlongs get fatigued just like our muscles do. You can only do so many 
                  reps or curls or bench presses or one-armed push-ups before your body needs to take a break. No need 
                  to break the condom trying. Burst blood cells are over-rated. Over-exertion with the assistance of a pill
                  does far more harm than good because you're ignoring your body's request to recharge. And besides, 
                  women are able to endure longer periods of sexual intercourse by virtue that they are not sustaining 
                  a vital organ like men are. The good news for men is that we can learn how to increase our endurance  
                  levels naturally. One way is by discovering how to separate climax from ejaculation through the likes 
                  of Tantra, Yoga, or Zen. Ultimately though, it's no contest. It's simply how our respective sex organs 
                  function. So reap as much fulfillment from one another as time allows and enjoy all the naked wonder.
                  After all, a dick's a dick, and dat is dat.

                  The bottom line is that Viagra is not a necessary commodity for the general public. It can and has done 
                  damage to the ignorant and uninformed, and will likely continue to. Read the distributor's skillfully 
                  written legal disclaimers for evidence of that. If there were no risks or side-effects, there would be no    
                  reason to print microscopic cautions along the lines of: "If you have an erection lasting longer than 4 
                  hours, hang a damp towel on it and consult a physician immediately." Technically, that has something  
                  to do with a deficit of blood circulation in other vital areas of the body as a result of a poor reaction    
                  or plain misuse. But if you're rock hard for 48 hours in a row, submit yourself to the Guinness Book 
                  of World Records under bodily function phenomena. 

                   Fortunately there are plenty of natural remedies just as effective as that little gray pill if not moreso, 
                  such as ginseng or plant-rooted teas. Yet when something toted as a medical breakthrough is packaged,    
                  marketed, and sold at such high volumes, there are those who sadly care more about the ensuing profits 
                  than the total well-being of those using the product. Whether it is simply another capitalist hoax thriving 
                  under a medicinal guise or a significant scientific leap forward has yet to be determined. Who knows    
                  what adversities heavy Viagra users will encounter many years after the fact? 

                  Take sparingly, if at all.

 
                                                                                                              *

         
                  Part dose. Identifying and deflating other annoying inbox scams.

                  It seems appropriate to mention two runners-up in what I'll refer to as "Spam Sweepflakes", beginning  
                  with the endless stream of emails sent out every minute from anonymous cyberscammers who pose as 
                  important, world-weary diplomats who have come into vast sums of money that they are unable to    
                  access from abroad, poor souls. They claim that in exchange for a comparatively miniscule investment, 
                  they will entrust some anonymous email recipient to take the lump sum and deposit it into a bank 
                  account of their choosing. The fee offered for this service is a small percentage of the vast sum, more  
                  than enough to make it a worthwhile venture, if only it were legitimate. But that's the thing. This scam  
                  appeals to the dreamer in all of us. Who wouldn't want to receive a few millions dollars for a couple of  
                  hours of effort? Hard not to get lured into at least reading these cleverly conceived scams, which have 
                  been investigated and reported on publicly for the past few years. Yet this uberscam has continued, 
                  which means there are still grifters out there swindling enough dough out of under-enlightened folks 
                  to want to continue, regardless of heightened public awareness. It seems then, that there are still 
                  unsuspecting fools to forewarn. 

                  Basically, once a recipient of such a letter is emotionally hooked by the very possibility of such a deal, 
                  they're vulnerable. It's a fine line, especially when you believe that miraculous things do happen. In the 
                  early days, long before these scheming letters were an epidemic, I was enticed by someone posing as an 
                  African diplomat who was looking for someone from North Amercia to help him transfer 20 million US
                  dollars. He explained that my take would be around ten percent, and asked me to call him. His phone 
                  number checked out according to the region of Africa he claimed to be in, and the political name he used 
                  as a source point for the funds did too. It seemed real enough to investigate, as he was confident enough 
                  to speak over the phone before meeting in person. But before that, I needed some more answers, and 
                  continued corresponding dispassionately via email in order to illicit specific information about the 
                  process of the proposed transaction. 

                  It came down to me flying to London, England, and meeting him at an internationally recognized hotel. 
                  At the meeting, I would give him a few thousand dollars to process the large money transfer, and once 
                  the transaction was successfully completed the promised dividend would be in my hands. He wouldn't        
                  fly me to London or book me a hotel room, although he did offer to have a driver waiting for me at 
                  Heathrow Airport if I so desired. As good as it sounded, it was all rather suspect, so I listened to my gut  
                  and declined the entire offer. A few months later I received an almost identical email, followed by more 
                  in the months beyond that, which confirmed the first one was a hoax on every level. Nowadays, dozens 
                  of these deceptive propositions litter my junk email boxes every day.

                  When I was a minor, I was taken by a telephone hoax. Bought a five-hundred dollar water purification 
                  system in exchange for a pre-packaged 10-day vacation to the Bahamas. For a young lad in high school, 
                  it nearly drained my funds, but seemed like a legitimate deal that would also provide my family with 
                  a steady supply of purified water. When the package arrived, I followed the instructions to the letter in 
                  terms of booking my vacation. Selected three travel time options that suited my schedule, and followed 
                  up to confirm that I had been placed in queue. It looked good at first, but after over 2 years of what 
                  became an exercise of futility and frustration, I gave up on the trip. As for the water purification system,
                  it wound up collecting dust bunnies in a corner. 

                  After all, who wants to use a product they got scammed by?   

                  The second Spam Sweepflakes runner-up is the various and sundry ads for penis enlargement kits.
                  You know, the ones that promise to turn a man into a human tripod in 4 to 6 weeks? Right, just slide
                  a cylindrical vacuum pump over your dick once a day and your balls will balloon so bad that sitting 
                  down won't even be an option. But you'll appear to be larger! Alternatively, hang some free-weights 
                  from your dong and watch it stretch down to your knees. Then you buy a custom leather cock holster!  
                  And while you're at it, why not take these golden tablets, water your pecker twice a day, and see what 
                  happens? 

                  Ugh. Yet dismal as it is, internet scams that are around for a while sell bogus products because they 
                  play on people's latent desires, far-fatched as they may be. In this case, another clever marketing 
                  gimmick presented as a solution for male insecurity. Clinical studies on the subject of penis 
                  enlargement have been done, documented, even televised, and the results have shown these methods
                  to be highly ineffective. But really, if you want to increase your cock size significantly in a short time 
                  span? Take surgical procedures for a hundred thousand and hope you can still urinate afterwards.

                  Consider that the vagina has only so much room to spare anyway. You go sticking too much inside a 
                  woman and you're liable to trigger her bladder, and then she'll pee uncontrollably all over the place. 
                  Heaven forbid you break a fallopian tube, that's a real mess. Point being, if the cock doodles, it will do. 
                  Ain't broke, don't fix. If men were designed to have foot-long dongs by nature, the average erect length  
                  would be ten to twelve inches. So, a ludicrously large wang is a novelty. A glorified freakshow of sorts.
                  Fun to have for a long weekend perhaps, but a total drag in the long term sense. 

                  For some perspective, abnormally-sized members actually drop into icy-cold toilet bowl water every time 
                  the host prepares to drop anchor. Well what guy wants to deal with that every time he shits? Every woman 
                  I've talked to on this subject who has had first hand experience with a jumbo wang expressed that the idea 
                  of it had the greatest appeal. For the moist part, it's a fantasy that doesn't translate into reality very pleasantly. 
                  There's too much pain, discomfort, and fear at work for it to be otherwise. 

                  Unless you're part donkey or horse.

                  Ok, it's time to conclude this lengthy retort.

                  Remember, if you want to satisfy the person you're with on a deeper level, forget about getting harder
                  for longer or bigger than last time. Focus on the person you're with, engage, and see what happens!

                  And do wear a rubber boot, especially if you're playing the field.

                Having the aspiration to make a living as a performer is challenging in its own right. If you have no financial  
assistance from family, no trust funds, sponsors or inheritances, and need to make ends meet while pursuing your goals 
like I do, you have no doubt experienced a bevy of employment from the sublime to the surreal to the insane. 
This essentially means having two jobs, one salary, and a whole lot of faith about your ability to maintain enough focus 
and energy to make steady strides toward your goals, whatever they may be. As well, you must persevere at all costs -- 
even in the face of skepticism from beloved ones or even thy self. For once enough time passes with steady effort 
and seemingly ubiquitous results, even the most dear and loyal fan will see what you are doing as futile. 
Being unable to forecast when, where, and how a genuine break will manifest, the ideal scenario is to land a decent 
steady job that pays well enough to get by on with some comfort, and has enough flexibility to allow you to do what 
must be done in order to stay aligned with your primary career objectives. Easier written than realized, but surely 
possible if you are the kind of worker who gets the job done with few errors and minimal drama. 

My comment about the current workplace in general though, is that far too much anxiety and stress exists on a daily
basis in business today. Putting the gossip and backstabbing aside for a moment, I’m referring to simple day-to-day
obstacles that certain personality types inflate into gigantic fiascos, as if the cosmos is unjustly working against them.  
The ones who become so melodramatic over the minutest of challenges that they send negative vibes to everyone 
within a three block radius, selfishly spraying their malcontent like a bacterial shower, even onto those who have
contributed nothing to whatever inconvenience has set them off in the first place.  

This makes the work environment unhealthy. Moreover, most people can relate to this scenario, having witnessed 
such behavior and being adversely affected by it to some degree. Repeated experiences with this type of situation 
in various job posts over the years has made some of my employers appear immature, impatient, and in dire need 
of therapy with regard to their egotistical self-flatulence and inability to take it in stride. I’ve left some jobs because 
I would rather endure the task of finding another one than continue to work for someone who flies off the handle 
like a monkey in heat every time they run into a little snag. 

Arguably, making a regular stink tends to ensure that whatever needs to be done is done so in a timely manner, 
but does that mean it's the most effective method? Of course not. How can that possibly be a good for the company 
or the people in it? Motivation by fear and panic may increae efficiency initially, but I believe it works against 
loyalty, development, and growth in the long run. It’s common knowledge that daily stress at work is natural as 
the association to the word “work” presupposes; if people went off to "productively play" four to six days a week, 
the world would be in a much freer state wouldn’t it? 

Given that most of the working class still lives in a form of slavery, it stands to reason that the higher one’s position 
in a company, the higher the levels of pressure will be. A gross generalization, point being that miscommunication, 
forgetfulness, and lack of follow-through happen frequently, rendering in understandably frustrating results. 
Some of this can be attributed to lackadaisical work ethics from those who have either become strung out in their 
position, feel they’re not being paid what they are worth, or both. Beyond that, we human organisms do get tired 
and overwhelmed, and cannot operate at peak efficiency day in and out like the machines we have cleverly crafted. 
To expect rugged, unwavering consistency from yourself or others is delusional and resonates like the Moronic plague. 
Kinks in every process of life happen no matter how smart, sharp, and together a worker or team is. As this is a given 
to the very fundamental way things go, there should be neither surprise nor dismay when something goes awry. 

It’s how the kink gets ironed out that differentiates the alarmists from the altruists.

So the next time you witness someone overreacting to something trite and fixable (as most things are), shake up the 
scene by launching into a coughing fit… fall on the floor, wail around for a minute, and observe the dissipation. 
If you really want to stir the stew, have some gooey fruit standing by, place it in your mouth, and let it ooze out 
as you roll you eyes into the back of your skull. That’ll instill some levity into the scene! 

And remember, if it’s not going to matter in a year from now, it’s not worth freaking out over.